THE ORIGINAL PITCH

DeLuise as Davis
The following is an early plot outline marketed by Noble House, a book comany that optioned the screenplay:

In these times of enlightened sexual politics, Ted Davis is a scoring machine. He's got the rap, the charm and a little black book as thick as the telephone directory.

Ted & Donna
Ted has it all. He's young, single, and works as an executive at an all-sports cable network. Confident without being cocky, clever without being stupid, understanding without being pathetic, he's become a guru to his buddies who can only aspire in awe to his greatness. Women love him. Men want to be him. This is a man's man, a ladies man, a super-hero... He's Ted Davis: "BachelorMan."

At work, at the sushi bar, at the nightclub and the gym he hones his pick-up and dating techniques, all the while providing "bachelor tips" to wanna-be Romeos everywhere.

Pyle
Ah, such a sweet glide through life, savoring the fruits of the fairer sex. He basks in the variety of his many women, and his friends live vicariously through him. Such a shame that it's all about to end. Ted is about to meet his match.

When the woman of his dreams, "Heather," moves in next door, Ted's ordeal begins. This is a woman like no other. She's beautiful, long-legged, athletic and LOUD. Her constant groans and howls of amorous pleasure turn Ted's domain of conquest and libidinous triumph into a nightmare world of BachelorMan-Interruptus. During her frequent love-making sessions, Heather makes more noise than Monica Seles at match point. She's a maestro, a champion, a sex-machine like no other. Ted must have her!

So the hunt begins as Ted delivers a first round of come-ons and invitations for his object of desire to become entangled, but nothing works. After consulting the experts at his job, the campaign continues with flowers, billboards and a marching band. Ted even resorts to getting advice from his mom, who says; "God you're hornier than Woody Allen at a family reunion - just like your old lady!"? But none of the classic lines, scams or gifts will sway 'Bachelorette Woman' to have anything to with him. She shows no interest in him, which Ted cannot begin to understand.
Ted & Donna

When all seems hopeless, Ted gets some guidance from his good friend Meg that turns the situation around: "Don't scam on her, listen to her, be SINCERE."

Of course!

Ted runs next door to attest his true feelings for the only woman he could ever love - and sure enough, to his astonishment - it works!

They fall passionately into each other's arms and in the throws of love, Ted proclaims to the camera: "When all else fails, the old 'honesty' gag works every time!"

Deena
Has Ted triumphed? Can one woman really be enough? Will BachelorMan survive or will he perish to a life of love and marriage? Things are not all that they seem in Ted's new bliss: He's different. He now listens to John Tesh CD's, dresses like a J. Crew catalogue and tapes episodes of 'Melrose Place.' His bachelor pad has fluffy pillows, knickknacks and cat calendar, replacing the Lava Lamp, Snap-On Tools calendar and SoloFlex Machine.

At work, he cancels the mega-popular "Career-ending Football Injury Bloopers" show, replacing it with "Couples Figure-skating." He may be in love, but he's changed; and his best friend Gordie sums it all up to Ted like a cold slap in the face: "You're pussy-whipped!"

Realizing that in this love-induced haze, he's been tricked into turning his life upside-down, Ted breaks it off with Heather to again pursue his destiny as "BachelorMan."

But something is very wrong in single-and-looking-land. Ted can't turn the ladies heads like he used to - none of the scams work. Suddenly, Ted couldn't get laid at a Pearl Jam concert with a fistful of backstage passes. He's lost his bachelor super-powers, because - gasp - he's STILL IN LOVE. BachelorMan has found his Kryptonite…

He must get her back - but how? It will take all of BachelorMan's skill and cunning to get his Lois Lane back.

... And Ted Davis knows the perfect scam.


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